It's Christmastime, again, and I forgot about my blog, again.

Well, what can I say... things have gotten really crazy the past few months. Joe started a new job up at Dartmouth Hitchcock and no longer has Daddy Thursdays with Owen. In addition he's been working until 6:30 or 7 every night so Owen and I are fending for ourselves from 5 onward. We've slowly started to adapt, but I didn't realize how much I depended on Joe's help during those suppertime/pre-bed time hours. While I was making dinner Joe could play with Owen, while I bathed Owen, Joe would clean up. We'd both read stories with him and then Joe would put him to bed. Now we come home, I try to pop dinner in the oven quick and start the wood stove, we eat, throw dishes in the sink and do a bath if there's time. Luckily most night Joe is home in time to read books and put Owen to bed.

Since Joe went back to 5 days a week, we needed to look for daycare 2 days a week, after lots of stress and searching we found the perfect place, Froggy Lane! It's about 2 miles from the house, and it's a wonderful in home daycare led by Joan and her daughter Jessie. Owen absolutely loves it there, and has really developed some rad skills since going there, including biting (every kid in daycare) but that's another story for another time. For now I'm focusing on the positive, no munching friends, and I'm so grateful that he's safe and happy :)

Crazy Baby

One thing I love about having a baby is teaching them tricks. Perhaps that doesn't sound right, I love teaching babies new and funny things. Owen is totally game for all of them.

We'll never sleep... god knows we'll try

We will sleep again, right? I mean, at some point in my child's life he's going to sleep through the night, right?




Here's all the reasons I'm told Owen doesn't sleep through the night (please note these are not in order of annoyance)




1. I nurse him in bed and we cuddle and sing until he falls asleep

2. We bedshare.

3. We don't let him CIO

4. When he wakes up at night I nurse him back to sleep.

5. When he wakes up at night we rock and cuddle him.




I get it, I really do. My son would probably sleep just fine all alone in his crib, just down the hall. In fact, I'm sure we'd all sleep better without getting kicked in the face by a squirmy baby. But here's the thing, my squishy, squirmy baby isn't going to want to sleep with his Mama forever and some day I'll miss the nights of cuddling. Some people say you have to let your child figure out how to soothe themselves, which I agree with, but I think there are other ways to do it besides at bedtime.




At first I sometimes felt like I was somehow not "living up to my mom duties" if Owen slept with us at 1 year, or 2 years or whatever, there's always so much pressure to get your kid in their own bed or to go to sleep by themselves at night, I thought maybe I was taking the easy way out by just letting him sleep with us. But now I'm really proud of our decision, we have a happy baby and happy parents and we're doing what we think is right for us.




And it's not forever, right?

A throw back to the days when all my son did was sleep!

Sick or whiny?

I mean really, how can you tell the difference?

Owen's had a cold for two weeks, nothing terrible but it involved tons of snot, a hacking cough, low grade fever, no sleep and lots of whining (Joe gets really cranky with limited sleep) Luckily for us, this is the first time that Owen's ever really been sick. Unluckily, we were totally unprepared and had no idea what to expect. I didn't want to go to the Dr., expose Owie to more germs and risk getting sicker for a simple cold. On the other hand, what if it was something more and there was something she could do about it?
So here's my question, when is it appropriate to take your baby in? As a first time mom everything is new, just as it is for your baby. He's never been sick before and I've never had the sole responsibility of caring for someone who is sick. When you're a kid (and even an adult) you can always rely on your mom to make you feel better and take care of you. Now as the mom someone is relying on you for that and trust me, it's not as easy as your mom made it seem! The weight of knowing your baby is relying on you so much to take care of them is never more apparent then when your child is sick. My mom kept telling me to trust my "mommy instincts" and that I'd "just know" if Owen needed to go to the Dr., but I couldn't help thinking, "what if I don't have Mommy instincts yet, or worse, what if they're wrong?"

Tuesday, somewhere around 11-5 am (approximate hours I was awake with a screaming baby) I realized Owen was making it painfully obvious to me that something wasn't right. I might not have killer mommy instincts yet, but my baby knows how to communicate and I know how to listen. Wednesday morning we went in right away and discovered he had a double ear infection. Three days later, a few doses of amoxicilin and ibuprofen later, I have my happy baby back.

To my sweet baby boy, thank yo for remembering this is Mama's first go at things too. 

Wordless Wednesdays

Feeding a toddler

Starting this back up again

Well, it happened. Owen turned one. We made it through the first year. So much has happened this past year and we've grown so much as a family. I could never have imagined how quickly this year would pass even though I was told time and time again that it would go by in the blink of an eye.

So, anyways, here we are. I've made it a resolution to start writing regularly because well, I've got a lot to say and sometimes I think there could be some benefits to writing it down (mainly Joe wouldn't have to listen to me babble as much)

At this point there's probably too much to go over from everything that's happened this year so my plan is to just recap and then start fresh.

Recap:
- we hardly slept.

- my boobs were in constant use. (no picture necessary)
- we changed a ton of dirty (cloth) diapers.

- although we hardly slept, we talk about sleep/sleep arrangements/lack of sleep/sleeping through the night ALL the time

- we went to a lot of concerts/shows and brought baby b with us!

- we learned how much fun camping with a baby can be.

-Baby B dressed up as a Tiger for Halloween

-Tubby time became the happiest phrase in our family's vocabulary

-oh and we ate a ton of food

All in all I'd say it's been a pretty good year.

I forgot about my blog!

It's true! Things have been so busy around here I hardly have time to shower let alone blog. But now that Owen is sleeping a little better I'm going to try to make time and update more.
Owen is 4 months today, which is incredibly mind blowing to me. I can't believe how fast this is all going. I'm trying not to be sad about that and to just remember how exciting every new stage is. Speaking of new stages Owen has developed the skill of spitting and blowing raspberries. At first I thought this was unbelievably cute and probably very advanced behavior for his age, but alas the novelty has worn off and I'm sick of being spit on.
Owen is such a happy happy baby. He's so laid back and loves to just hang out. Right now his favorite toys are Sophie the giraffe (which is basically baby crack), a silver rattle my aunt gave him (which is probably incredibly unsafe since he whacks himself in the head with it) and his lovey (a bodiless dalmatian) He also loves looking in the mirror and being worn. We've got a bunch of different wraps now and he loves being close to us all the time.
Breastfeeding is going amazing and now that I'm back at work I'm pumping on the days I'm not with him. I don't enjoy pumping but I'm so glad I've been able to keep my supply up and give Owen what he needs.
Easter was fun and exciting, Owen's first big holiday. We went to see the Easter Bunny and Owen loved her, he was smiling and cooing at her the whole time

I finally did Owen's birth announcements. I couldn't decide on about a million pictures that we took but we finally ended up with this one and I love it!!

Initial Impression Teal Baby Announcements

Shutterfly has personalized baby announcements.

View the entire collection of cards.

The first few weeks

Our little family is settling in well and we've had an incredible first three weeks. I still can't believe Owen is already 3 weeks old! Each day seems to blend into the next and I'm already wishing time would slow down. Joe has been home these first weeks and I'm so grateful we've gotten this time together as a family. Joe is a natural with Owen and it's so amazing to see the love they already share. Owen is an incredible baby and has already filled our lives with so much meaning.

We let Owen set his own schedule so he eats and sleeps whenever he wants, which is pretty much all the time. He figured out breast feeding right away and despite some pain and soreness on my part it's going well. I didn't however anticipate how hard breastfeeding would be at first. I keep having to remind myself that it's a learning process for the both of us. Within the last few days it's gotten a lot more comfortable for me and Owen seems to remember what he's doing now. I didn't realize how much work breastfeeding would be or that I would feel like it's the only thing I ever do!! That being said I love how close it makes me feel to Owen and how amazing it is that I get to feed him. I love seeing his little eyes look up at me while he's nursing, it's the best feeling in the world.

In the diaper department things are going really well with cloth. It seemed really daunting and overwhelming when I first started researching it but it's actually incredibly easy. We're still figuring out which diapers work best for us but so far we really like prefolds for the daytime because we're changing so many times and we've got 2 dozen of them. The bambino mio covers seem to work well, and the motherease cover we have is also really great. So far we haven't really had any leaks with the prefolds, just a couple of poops that came out the side. The fitteds are also great and a little easier than the prefolds, we're using the kissaluvs size zero and they fit great. I think we'll get some fitted diapers in bigger sizes. We're also loving the Little Joey All-in-one's we got. They are super absorbent and so easy to use, just like putting on a disposable. They've been great for overnight or going out somewhere. Just this week we started using some of the pocket diapers which are also incredibly easy to use. I like how we can add absorbency with doublers for nighttime. I think the pockets will be our main diaper as Owen gets bigger.

It's been so cold that we haven't left the house much except to go to my parents and to his first dr. appointment. Luckily we've had lots of visitors coming and keeping us company.

Owen's first appointment with the dr. was great, he's doing awesome. He had gained 8 ounces since coming home from the hospital which is excellent and everything else was perfect. We're are so blessed to have a healthy baby and momma.

Owen’s Birth Story

For a few days I’d been feeling really crappy, like I was getting the flue. Lower back ache, tired legs and almost felt like I couldn’t walk because baby was so low. I had been losing my mp for about a week and on Weds I had a lot of bloody discharge. I was getting sporadic contractions but nothing that hurt badly. I knew my body was telling me Baby B was on the way but I was so anxious to know when- I wasn't sure I could take many more days of feeling like this. On New Years Eve I started having timeable contractions around 9pm. They were uncomfortable and about 10 minutes apart. As the night went on they increased in duration and pain but they were still manageable. I got through them mostly by walking, lying on the medicine ball or being on my hands and knees. Joe had gone ice fishing early that morning and was exhausted so he headed to bed to get some rest, knowing that a few busy days were coming up. Luckily he didn't snore too loud and Shannon stayed with me rubbing my back and helping me time the contractions. At around 1 I realized that I should try and get some rest, I didn't think I'd be able to sleep but I was able to until around 5.

Throughout the night the contractions would wake me but I would fall back asleep. When I woke up at 5 contrax were 7 mins apart and getting really uncomfortable. They continued to increase in duration, severity and get closer. I knew this was still prelabor so I tried to relax as much as I could, shower and just breathe. My goal was to labor at home for as long as possible but at around 9am contractions were 4 mins apart and getting really painful so we decided to go in.

When we got there I was checked and only 2cm dilated but 90% effaced. I remember being so disappointed that hours of early labor only brought me to 2cm. I was overwhelmed thinking about how long I’d have to labor to get to 10cm. Since it was a holiday and a Saturday my midwife wouldn't be around and I was nervous that I wouldn't like the on call doctor. Fortunately he ended up being great and really patient. He and I decided to have me walk around awhile and see if progress was made after 2 hours. When he checked me again I was 4cm! I was so happy I could've cried! By this time I really had to breathe and focus through contractions. I found a flower on the wallpaper that I made my focal point and kept telling myself through contractions that my cervix was like that flower opening up. It sounds corny but it really helped me to imagine and focus on my cervix opening. Once we got a room I continued this mental thinking and physically tried some different positions. I used some inner tubes to get baby in a good position and I used the medicine ball to bounce and tilt my pelvis. Contractions were now 2 or 3 minutes apart and getting stronger. At some point my water broke and I knew as soon as it happened that things were going to move very fast from here on out. Marlene, my nurse came in and filled up the Jacuzzi for me and I have to say I smiled for the first time in hours when I got in! My muscles seemed to relax and I was able to rest more between contractions. There was a drawing above the bath of a beautiful goddess looking woman and she became my focal point through contractions. I tried to tell myself over and over that my body was amazing and I could do this. Throughout my pregnancy I always tried to remind myself that this is what my body was made to do and I tried to keep that in the back of my mind throughout labor.

At some point Shannon and my mom showed up and everyone took turns sitting with me. They kept my face cool with clothes and made sure I was hydrated. Joe stayed with me the whole time. The next time I got checked I was 7cm and from that point on things got a little fuzzy. The pain was so intense and as much as I tried to breathe through them I ended up screaming through most of them. I wasn't really able to talk so Joe just sat with me and held my hand and gave me water. I was terrified because I knew I was going through transition and the most painful parts were coming up. I asked about the epidural once just to make sure it was still an option, which it was. I honestly could not believe that my body was enduring that much pain and I was still alive. I felt like I was being ripped apart and I was so scared to push. I saw them bring in the labor cart and instead of being excited I was terrified that I would have to start pushing soon. I don’t remember much more except I was checked one more time and I was at 10 centimeters. At this point I decided I really didn’t want to push without the epidural. I was terrified to push and really didn’t think I had any strength left. Unfortunately there was an emergency and the one, yes one, anesthesiologist in the hospital couldn’t make it to the room for another ½ hour. That last half hour was brutal and I was frantic. I cried and couldn’t understand how the hospital could only have one guy on call! I also had to get out of the bath which made contractions even harder on my body. I no longer felt like a person and was just screaming like an animal writhing in pain. When I finally got the epidural my body relaxed, but I could still feel the pain and the contractions since I was so far along. I wanted to rest but my nurse said it was time to get this baby out! I am so glad I got the epidural because my body was able to relax and I got so excited to push. Pushing felt amazing and my support staff was great telling me with every push how much closer he was getting to coming out, and how they could start to see his head coming out… this encouragement helped me to push harder and more effectively. I ended up pushing for 35 minutes and got to feel Baby B as he slid out of my body. As soon as he came out Joe made the announcement that it was a baby boy and they slid him right up onto my chest. I immediately felt a sense of calm and peace radiate through my body. I can’t explain it but I felt so complete and happy. I thought I would cry but I was just so overwhelmed with happiness and a feeling of peace. I knew I would love Owen right away but didn’t realize the depth of that love or that he’d feel like he belonged me right away. We waited until the cord stopped pulsing and then Daddy got to cut. Owen stayed on my chest for about an hour and we breastfed right away. Lots of other stuff was going on in the room, I vaguely remember delivering the placenta and being stitched up but it seemed like everyone and everything else was so far away, all I could do was stare at my baby in awe. He didn’t take a bath or get any shots, measurements or get weighed for a few more hours. I was so happy to have those first few hours to just rest and relax and bond together.

He weighed in at 7lbs, 10 ounces and 20 inches long and got 9’s on his apgars. Originally if BabyB was a boy we were going to name him either Luke James or Jacob Clark, but when he came out we really couldn't agree on either. For some reason we both knew this wasn't Luke or Jacob. After a few hours we started brainstorming and Owen was a name I had casually mentioned a few nights before. As soon as I brought it up again and we looked at the baby we knew he was Owen. His middle name is David to remember the life of a wonderful friend who is no longer with us. It doesn't seem like we even picked his name, I think it just picked him!

Looking back I am so happy with the way everything went – my husband was an amazing coach and I felt so proud of us both afterwards. I was so grateful to have the support of my best friend and my mom. I think it was so important to have other women with me. It was so exciting to not know if Owen was a boy or girl and hearing Joe announce it was incredible. I’m extremely glad I got the epidural at the end because it really helped me relax and be calm in body and mind for when Owen came out. The whole experience has left me in awe of what our bodies are capable of doing and I’m so incredibly grateful for the experience.

It's Christmastime!

Tis the Season! It's Christmastime, which means it's almost time for Baby B's arrival. As you can see I'm almost as round as the tree and getting bigger by the day. It looks like I have no belly button here, but I've just photo-shopped out the incredible amount of stretch marks that now canvass my belly.

Frogs, frogs and more frogs

Auntie Maryclaire came to visit us this weekend and we had a great time :) We took the opportunity to head into Tilton and do some outlet shopping. Once again Baby B was the main beneficiary.

My obsession with baby socks continues.... I can't possibly imagine that feet exist small enough to wear these!


We also got into some frog craziness. There is something really awesome about the fact that babies get to wear outfits with funny hoods that look like animals on a daily basis.


I also found an adorable little fleece bear outfit for Baby B to wear home from the hospital


Here's Joe modeling it for me. He wasn't thrilled.

We've done most of what can be done at this time in Baby B's room. Now we just wait for Bub to come and fix the outside wall and put in a new window. After that we can finally put the crib up, yay!

It made me feel much better to get some things organized in the closet. We grabbed a kit from Home depot and put up some shelving.


On Friday night Joe, MC and I sat down and watched "The Business of Being Born" which is a documentary that Ricki Lake produced looking at the whole process of labor and delivery in hospitals today. I found it incredibly interesting and somewhat frightening thinking about what big business baby having has become.C-sections are on the rise (some hospitals have rates as high as 40%) and some hospitals even let women opt to have one. It seems that many people are forgetting what a natural and normal process giving birth actually is. Don't get me wrong, medical intervention and surgery has saved millions of babies lives but most part births go completely normally. The death rate of women giving birth in the US is worse than in 40 other countries, including nearly all the industrialized countries. The UK ranks 26th while we rank 41st. We have some of the best doctors in the world yet our mothers are dying in higher numbers than almost anywhere else.... I'm not sure what to think of this, except it further cements my goal and plan to have Baby B as naturally as possible.

Although I contemplated a home birth or even going to a birthing center I have ultimately decided to go to Concord Hospital. I feel like where I live if anything were to happen I'm just too far away from the hospital to get there fast enough. Plus, this being my first experience with baby having I just don't know what to expect. That being said I will insist on the least amount of medical intervention possible. I know this is what my body was made to do and I am going to trust it to do just that. I am confident that it will hurt like hell and that at many points I am going to be screaming for pain relief but I'm also confident that I am fully capable of doing it without help. It's so hard to know if you are making the right decision when you've never been in the position before, and you have no idea of what will happen. But it's easy to trust in yourself, trust in your partner and trust in a process that is as natural as breathing.

I'll let you guys know how this ends up working out for me ;)

Warning: Bare Belly Ahead

Not much new to report here except it seems that Baby B and I are growing bigger by the day. Tying my shoes has become an increasingly difficult task and most of the time it is now left up to Joe. My belly button is hanging in there and hasn't popped yet... I don't know what this means but I feel like it will be a slight milestone when it occurs.

We passed our glucose test which means I can resume eating copious amounts of sugar, yay. I am also slightly anemic which is surprising considering my affinity for red meat.. I'm trying to sneak spinach into some of my food which might trick me if I wasn't the one sneaking it in there.

We spent the long weekend camping up at Hermit Island in Maine. We had such a great time and I became an expert at peeing outdoors while preggers. The trick is to find something to lean on so you don't have to hold your belly while squatting. Only one minor mishap occurred.

While in Maine Mom and I went shopping at Reny's where I not only got so excited by Christmas ornaments that I teared up (frequent occurance lately) but we found some pretty adorable items for Baby B. See Exhibit A.
I am confident that Baby B will be so advanced for his/her age that we'll most definitely be building snowmen this winter and these mittens will be an absolute necessity.

Along with gloves Baby B is most certainly going to be needing some adorable little socks to cover ten perfect little toes. Luckily Grandma bought us these :)




We've also hit the third trimester mark which means we're in the homestretch. I feel incredibly unprepared in all areas of Baby B. We still haven't agreed on a name, the nursery is nowhere near done and I am still holding out hope that I won't have to endure labor and Baby B will just magically appear in my arms on D day. Please don't ruin this dream for me.

Sugar, sugar, sugar (and it's inevitable downsides)

Well today baby B and I had our glucose test. Don't know the results yet but it wasn't very pleasant. Basically you have to not eat for 12 hours, (which is pregnant lady time is like 3 days,) drink this orange sugar drink and then wait another hour and have blood taken. So far it seems the after affects are similar to a hangover, except without the fun that usually precedes one.

After that we had our monthly check-up. Everything looks great, and Joe surprised us by coming in when we were hearing Baby B's heartbeat. My belly is measuring at exactly 26 cm, which correlates to the amount of weeks I am along. The appointments are usually boring, which I guess is a good thing but it's always nice to hear Baby's heartbeat.

We got the floor down in the nursery this weekend and it looks great, unfortunately we discovered some molding issues with the outside of the house but that's a whole different story. Basically what it means is that I can't put the crib up or start decorating :(

At first I was exercising a bunch, and I still am trying to get some walks and yoga in but I've come to a few conclusions....

1. I'm too freaking tired most of the time to exercise

2. I will completely tweak out if I see myself in spandex.

3. I am going to get fat anyways.

4. I am so clumsy that I will probably trip and fall on my belly.

And my rationalization of being lazy is done.

Better Late than never

We're 25 weeks along now and I've finally decided to keep everyone updated on the cooking of Baby B. I'll try to update weekly and post pictures of my growing belly.

Well, Baby B has been moving around like crazy lately. Sometimes I'm convinced baby has like 10 arms and at least four legs. If so I guess we'll deal. I'm also getting kicked in some pretty uncomfortable places which I've repeatedly asked the baby to stop but it doesn't seem to be working. Most of the time Baby B kicks if I watch my belly I can see them. Although this is incredibly entertaining for us it still makes me feel like I'm growing an alien.

This morning Joe took a shower and the fire alarm went off (he's so smokin' hot this happens frequently when he showers) and Baby B started tweaking out on my insides. I guess outside noises can definitely be heard (note to self, start swearing less.)

Baby B is now the size of an eggplant, about a lb 1/2 and 12 inches long. It is absolutely remarkable that a couple of months ago baby was the size of a poppy seed.

In other news I'm still dreaming about frosting on a weekly basis- this has been my primary craving throughout pregnancy. I don't want pickles, or ice cream or even cake, just frosting please. Unfortunately for Baby B and I we have to take our glucose tolerance test next week so we've gotta chill out on the sugar intake.

Baby B's nursery is a work in progress- walls are painted and the floor is hopefully going in next weekend. In poor Joe news I almost packed my bags the other night when he wouldn't search for a tape measure to measure the wall space for a tree decal. In retrospect I may have overreacted.