I forgot about my blog!

It's true! Things have been so busy around here I hardly have time to shower let alone blog. But now that Owen is sleeping a little better I'm going to try to make time and update more.
Owen is 4 months today, which is incredibly mind blowing to me. I can't believe how fast this is all going. I'm trying not to be sad about that and to just remember how exciting every new stage is. Speaking of new stages Owen has developed the skill of spitting and blowing raspberries. At first I thought this was unbelievably cute and probably very advanced behavior for his age, but alas the novelty has worn off and I'm sick of being spit on.
Owen is such a happy happy baby. He's so laid back and loves to just hang out. Right now his favorite toys are Sophie the giraffe (which is basically baby crack), a silver rattle my aunt gave him (which is probably incredibly unsafe since he whacks himself in the head with it) and his lovey (a bodiless dalmatian) He also loves looking in the mirror and being worn. We've got a bunch of different wraps now and he loves being close to us all the time.
Breastfeeding is going amazing and now that I'm back at work I'm pumping on the days I'm not with him. I don't enjoy pumping but I'm so glad I've been able to keep my supply up and give Owen what he needs.
Easter was fun and exciting, Owen's first big holiday. We went to see the Easter Bunny and Owen loved her, he was smiling and cooing at her the whole time

I finally did Owen's birth announcements. I couldn't decide on about a million pictures that we took but we finally ended up with this one and I love it!!

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The first few weeks

Our little family is settling in well and we've had an incredible first three weeks. I still can't believe Owen is already 3 weeks old! Each day seems to blend into the next and I'm already wishing time would slow down. Joe has been home these first weeks and I'm so grateful we've gotten this time together as a family. Joe is a natural with Owen and it's so amazing to see the love they already share. Owen is an incredible baby and has already filled our lives with so much meaning.

We let Owen set his own schedule so he eats and sleeps whenever he wants, which is pretty much all the time. He figured out breast feeding right away and despite some pain and soreness on my part it's going well. I didn't however anticipate how hard breastfeeding would be at first. I keep having to remind myself that it's a learning process for the both of us. Within the last few days it's gotten a lot more comfortable for me and Owen seems to remember what he's doing now. I didn't realize how much work breastfeeding would be or that I would feel like it's the only thing I ever do!! That being said I love how close it makes me feel to Owen and how amazing it is that I get to feed him. I love seeing his little eyes look up at me while he's nursing, it's the best feeling in the world.

In the diaper department things are going really well with cloth. It seemed really daunting and overwhelming when I first started researching it but it's actually incredibly easy. We're still figuring out which diapers work best for us but so far we really like prefolds for the daytime because we're changing so many times and we've got 2 dozen of them. The bambino mio covers seem to work well, and the motherease cover we have is also really great. So far we haven't really had any leaks with the prefolds, just a couple of poops that came out the side. The fitteds are also great and a little easier than the prefolds, we're using the kissaluvs size zero and they fit great. I think we'll get some fitted diapers in bigger sizes. We're also loving the Little Joey All-in-one's we got. They are super absorbent and so easy to use, just like putting on a disposable. They've been great for overnight or going out somewhere. Just this week we started using some of the pocket diapers which are also incredibly easy to use. I like how we can add absorbency with doublers for nighttime. I think the pockets will be our main diaper as Owen gets bigger.

It's been so cold that we haven't left the house much except to go to my parents and to his first dr. appointment. Luckily we've had lots of visitors coming and keeping us company.

Owen's first appointment with the dr. was great, he's doing awesome. He had gained 8 ounces since coming home from the hospital which is excellent and everything else was perfect. We're are so blessed to have a healthy baby and momma.

Owen’s Birth Story

For a few days I’d been feeling really crappy, like I was getting the flue. Lower back ache, tired legs and almost felt like I couldn’t walk because baby was so low. I had been losing my mp for about a week and on Weds I had a lot of bloody discharge. I was getting sporadic contractions but nothing that hurt badly. I knew my body was telling me Baby B was on the way but I was so anxious to know when- I wasn't sure I could take many more days of feeling like this. On New Years Eve I started having timeable contractions around 9pm. They were uncomfortable and about 10 minutes apart. As the night went on they increased in duration and pain but they were still manageable. I got through them mostly by walking, lying on the medicine ball or being on my hands and knees. Joe had gone ice fishing early that morning and was exhausted so he headed to bed to get some rest, knowing that a few busy days were coming up. Luckily he didn't snore too loud and Shannon stayed with me rubbing my back and helping me time the contractions. At around 1 I realized that I should try and get some rest, I didn't think I'd be able to sleep but I was able to until around 5.

Throughout the night the contractions would wake me but I would fall back asleep. When I woke up at 5 contrax were 7 mins apart and getting really uncomfortable. They continued to increase in duration, severity and get closer. I knew this was still prelabor so I tried to relax as much as I could, shower and just breathe. My goal was to labor at home for as long as possible but at around 9am contractions were 4 mins apart and getting really painful so we decided to go in.

When we got there I was checked and only 2cm dilated but 90% effaced. I remember being so disappointed that hours of early labor only brought me to 2cm. I was overwhelmed thinking about how long I’d have to labor to get to 10cm. Since it was a holiday and a Saturday my midwife wouldn't be around and I was nervous that I wouldn't like the on call doctor. Fortunately he ended up being great and really patient. He and I decided to have me walk around awhile and see if progress was made after 2 hours. When he checked me again I was 4cm! I was so happy I could've cried! By this time I really had to breathe and focus through contractions. I found a flower on the wallpaper that I made my focal point and kept telling myself through contractions that my cervix was like that flower opening up. It sounds corny but it really helped me to imagine and focus on my cervix opening. Once we got a room I continued this mental thinking and physically tried some different positions. I used some inner tubes to get baby in a good position and I used the medicine ball to bounce and tilt my pelvis. Contractions were now 2 or 3 minutes apart and getting stronger. At some point my water broke and I knew as soon as it happened that things were going to move very fast from here on out. Marlene, my nurse came in and filled up the Jacuzzi for me and I have to say I smiled for the first time in hours when I got in! My muscles seemed to relax and I was able to rest more between contractions. There was a drawing above the bath of a beautiful goddess looking woman and she became my focal point through contractions. I tried to tell myself over and over that my body was amazing and I could do this. Throughout my pregnancy I always tried to remind myself that this is what my body was made to do and I tried to keep that in the back of my mind throughout labor.

At some point Shannon and my mom showed up and everyone took turns sitting with me. They kept my face cool with clothes and made sure I was hydrated. Joe stayed with me the whole time. The next time I got checked I was 7cm and from that point on things got a little fuzzy. The pain was so intense and as much as I tried to breathe through them I ended up screaming through most of them. I wasn't really able to talk so Joe just sat with me and held my hand and gave me water. I was terrified because I knew I was going through transition and the most painful parts were coming up. I asked about the epidural once just to make sure it was still an option, which it was. I honestly could not believe that my body was enduring that much pain and I was still alive. I felt like I was being ripped apart and I was so scared to push. I saw them bring in the labor cart and instead of being excited I was terrified that I would have to start pushing soon. I don’t remember much more except I was checked one more time and I was at 10 centimeters. At this point I decided I really didn’t want to push without the epidural. I was terrified to push and really didn’t think I had any strength left. Unfortunately there was an emergency and the one, yes one, anesthesiologist in the hospital couldn’t make it to the room for another ½ hour. That last half hour was brutal and I was frantic. I cried and couldn’t understand how the hospital could only have one guy on call! I also had to get out of the bath which made contractions even harder on my body. I no longer felt like a person and was just screaming like an animal writhing in pain. When I finally got the epidural my body relaxed, but I could still feel the pain and the contractions since I was so far along. I wanted to rest but my nurse said it was time to get this baby out! I am so glad I got the epidural because my body was able to relax and I got so excited to push. Pushing felt amazing and my support staff was great telling me with every push how much closer he was getting to coming out, and how they could start to see his head coming out… this encouragement helped me to push harder and more effectively. I ended up pushing for 35 minutes and got to feel Baby B as he slid out of my body. As soon as he came out Joe made the announcement that it was a baby boy and they slid him right up onto my chest. I immediately felt a sense of calm and peace radiate through my body. I can’t explain it but I felt so complete and happy. I thought I would cry but I was just so overwhelmed with happiness and a feeling of peace. I knew I would love Owen right away but didn’t realize the depth of that love or that he’d feel like he belonged me right away. We waited until the cord stopped pulsing and then Daddy got to cut. Owen stayed on my chest for about an hour and we breastfed right away. Lots of other stuff was going on in the room, I vaguely remember delivering the placenta and being stitched up but it seemed like everyone and everything else was so far away, all I could do was stare at my baby in awe. He didn’t take a bath or get any shots, measurements or get weighed for a few more hours. I was so happy to have those first few hours to just rest and relax and bond together.

He weighed in at 7lbs, 10 ounces and 20 inches long and got 9’s on his apgars. Originally if BabyB was a boy we were going to name him either Luke James or Jacob Clark, but when he came out we really couldn't agree on either. For some reason we both knew this wasn't Luke or Jacob. After a few hours we started brainstorming and Owen was a name I had casually mentioned a few nights before. As soon as I brought it up again and we looked at the baby we knew he was Owen. His middle name is David to remember the life of a wonderful friend who is no longer with us. It doesn't seem like we even picked his name, I think it just picked him!

Looking back I am so happy with the way everything went – my husband was an amazing coach and I felt so proud of us both afterwards. I was so grateful to have the support of my best friend and my mom. I think it was so important to have other women with me. It was so exciting to not know if Owen was a boy or girl and hearing Joe announce it was incredible. I’m extremely glad I got the epidural at the end because it really helped me relax and be calm in body and mind for when Owen came out. The whole experience has left me in awe of what our bodies are capable of doing and I’m so incredibly grateful for the experience.